A New Chapter

2018 feels just like yesterday, the year did run fast and just like I did on the 31st morning of 2017, today  I woke up reflecting on the past year. I even went through the cross over post “End of A chapter” reflecting on how I applied the lessons I learnt form the year before and the possibilities the new year holds for me.

The past few nights leading to today came with a lot of mixed feelings. 2018 was a very intense year for me, it was the year of building the right foundations in terms of my Spirituality, Career, Business, Physical health and of course my Emotional health. I would be lying if I say that it has been a walk in the park, but I must say that in setting the right foundation in the last year, I have experienced grace that has enabled me dig and set these foundations in place. However in the process of digging you find that more often than not, you are covered in dirt and although you might not be seeing the skyscraper yet, you can see the ground on which it will stand; in the consciousness that the true architect of life has already designed your master piece estate. The ability to venture through this trying process is what I define as Hope and Faith.

Were there times in the year where I panicked about the future? –Yes!

Before one embarks on the journey of building a foundation, there is most likely an idea what the final result of the structure you aim to build will look like, this enables you know the kind of foundation to build -The higher the building, the deeper the foundation. Sometimes I found myself getting anxious over the thought of the final result when all I could see physically was the earth going further beneath as opposed to blocks coming up. Times like that can make you feel like your not making any progress, you find that your spending a lot of time and resources and you still can’t quite see results; I’m taking all these notes but I still haven’t successfully written a chapter in the book. To be honest this brought about a lot of anxiety and panic, but as the year comes to an end I began to see that I had achieved more that I thought. Through God’s grace, I had built a solid foundation to take the skyscraper. I understood that there is a time for everything; a time to sew, a time to groom and a time to harvest; a time to dig; a time to built and even a time to furnish.

Were there certain goals I set but could not meet? -Yes!

Just like my last point, due to my anxiety there were times I set goals out of time. There were times I wanted to build on lands without setting a foundation and I achieved nothing. I learnt that you cannot cheat the process, a foundation must be built 1st and I did not fail to achieve my goals for the year, but I did set goals ahead of time. As I reflect on this now, I am filled with gratitude; as those moments and goals where only in preparation for the years to come, they were visionary and not a lack of achievement and I am excited to see them start materialising in the new year.

Were there certain foundations that did not take? -Yes!

Like I mentioned earlier, you can’t build without setting a foundation; and the higher a building goes the deeper its foundation. Yes there are times when we try to plant the right seeds in a land that cannot accommodate it, the climate might be wrong for your seeds/ plants or the soil not just right. It is important to know when a land will not take and move on. I learnt that when you fail to pay attention to the foundation you set and you go ahead to build, you might find that the building would come crumbling down on you. It is better to know early which land can take the buildings you’ve set for your future, those that can hold your dreams and aspirations and are solid enough to materialise with you. It was one of the most important lessons I learnt that although something might look nice, rich and desirable, it is always important that when that thing is put to the test, we are careful to observe and realise wether it keeps you rooted or if it lacks stability.

Were there times I felt like giving up? -Yes!

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TRUST GOD, TRUST YOURSELF (sequel to “The Prologue”)

The understanding of why men marry bitches in society is generally misconstrued, and also gradually getting out of hand. I guess that’s why many marriages tend not to last in our generation. I understand that men are hunters and like to work for what they get at least this applies to the hard working ones. However this theory in relation to love seems very unfair to men and women. I get the thrill of hunting down a babe like a prey till you finally get a slice of her cake. That sounds more relatable to the animalistic expression of hunting. However in terms of love there is nothing wrong with both parties putting in the work to make their relationship work. In fact this through God’s grace is the only way you can ensure a sustainable and enjoyable relationship.

Men should work hard to keep the women they love happy, that should be their motivation, not whether she plays hard to get long enough for you to truly want to spend the rest of my life with her!

Unfortunately for short term desires women are falling victim of this ideology of suppressing their feelings to being a “bitch” and find it difficult to cope long term. Because when you finally get his attention, the things you suppress will eventually come out and those things he understood you could deal with, will be the same things that make you a nagger and pushes him to wanting someone else who can take them. Voicing out your discomfort does not make you insecure or needy on the reverse it shows you know what you want and as much as you please your man if he really loves you, he’ll also work hard to meet your standards as you patiently watch him grow. After all he is your 1st baby.

Another sad notion this theory creates is that men wanting to get married to bitches is mostly applicable to eligible bachelors (in Nigeria precisely); The good looking guys; Guys with sufficient financial stability; The type of guys that all the girls want (because they are too spoilt for choice so being nice sets off the wrong alarms) SMH.

Show me a poor humble man with a woman that loves him unconditionally, who is not afraid to show it, and you’ll see a man that is eternally grateful and wants to simply adore her also. Go to the rural areas that have not been corrupted by money and see true love flourish.

Does this mean men that have worked hard to earn a living are not entitled to that type of love? Or are they so insecure that when they see pure love there is an immediate assumption of an ulterior motive? It is a very sad experience that my brothers have to deal with immediately.

Growing up in England you ask some black guys that end up with white women, why they are so attracted to them and you get the same response. Black women are rude and obnoxious, they are too difficult. But white women know how to love and treat a man good, they are romantic. The black women would get angry and say they are not any of those, they are just “Strong”, and the white women are only hypnotised by black D*%#$.
Well Well Well my dears my advice to you my sisters is that you better jump on that hypnosis and give our men a sense of pride.
Let them hunt for money, not love that is freely and naturally given to all by God.

This does not mean that a woman should be cheap and easily gotten by any man. No!!! A woman should always stay guarded and keep her virtues. But when you experience a kind of love that breaks you. There is no need to hold back on it. Both parties should enjoy and appreciate each other. And my brothers you should not be told how your minds should function. When a man loves a woman he loves her completely, whether hard to get or easy to get. Don’t let your mind make you regret not following your heart.

I Pray you marry loving partners not dogs and bitches! We need to be careful of what we feed into our spirits and accept as appropriate life styles. I understand the importance of being strong and independent, but we should also know that we do not need to loose ourselves to appear strong. To me a strong woman is a woman that can love hard and care for her man like his her baby, but also a woman should know what she’s worth and stands for it.

Being a strong woman in terms of love
is giving generously what is deserving to your partner (don’t do more than he deserves, but appreciate his work so far and encourage him as he grows),
It is knowing when to walk away from people that are not deserving of your emotions as you constantly sore to be the best version of your self. That makes you a strong woman.

Love you all ?

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