People often ask if I’m a feminist like it’s a tag to know how to categorize you. When asked by some men I can literarily feel their eagerness to judge my ability to be a submissive wife, When asked by women is a mixed reaction. Some judge your ability to be submissive while others judge you loyalty to the woke women association of the world. Nevertheless, when these questions come, I often reply “I’m a humanist, not in the sense of those that don’t believe in God.” On the contrary my believe in God; and the beauty of His creation teaches me that everyone is entitled to be loved and respected for everything that makes us diverse, unique and still so alike. I believe we are created differently for different purposes and those purposes should be celebrated individually 

This particular piece is not an attack on women or feminist, but is aimed at sensitising people on the dangers of the miscommunication of feminism, leading to a greater world problem which is lack of human love and kindness as well as manipulation and deceit creating a general lack of wisdom and understanding in society.

I’ll start with a small historical background extracted from Wikipedia, which states that the traditional ideology of feminism introduced since the 19th century,known as the “first-wave liberal feminism”; soughtpolitical and legal equality through reforms within a liberal democratic framework. This ideology was contrasted something called socialist and Marxist feminism, which analyses the way women were exploited through capitalism and individual ownership of property, thereby seeking compensation for labour by women which largely went uncompensated.

A Second wave of feminisim however emerged which is also known as “Radical Feminisim” which seeks to completely eliminate male supremacy/ patriarchy in all social and economical aspects of life. 

Where I draw exception to the improved notion of feminism, is with its aim to absolutely eliminate the powers of a man even in marriage thereby not allowing room for submission.

So what is submission?

The dictionary definition of submission is the act of accepting or yielding to a superior force or the will or authority of another person. This person could also be a governmental representative or even a religious representative. Chapter 13 of the Apostle Paul’s Letter to the Romans, reads, in part: “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities; for there is no authority except from God, and those authorities that exist have been instituted by God.

However, Biblical submission on the other hand in respect to marriage is a wife making a choice not to overtly resist her husband’s will. That is not to say she cannot disagree with him or that she cannot express her opinion. Indeed, a wife who practices submission is by definition a woman with strength of character. Ephesians 5:22-33  “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Scripture goes on to instruct in the same context of submission, 

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

This mystery is a profound one, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church; however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

The new narrative of feminism in my belief puts an unnecessary strain on women and has brought about several destructive upshots such as those I will be addressing in this article.
The 3 primary  repercussions I will be dealing with are:

1. The strong black woman theory, in earnest is not a display of strength, but a defence mechanism for survival that has been introduced into society; to deal with the traumatic experiences women have suffered due to the acts of a few irresponsible men that were opportune to set the narrative for social norms. This in effect, has caused women to lose their femininity while seeking validation and respect (I subconsciously fall victim).

2. Women become hypocritical, wanting the perks of Femininity at the same time judging other women that embrace the totality of their feminine nature, while failing to understand and take responsibility for the fact that women have also created so many social norms derivative of their feminine nature (physical and emotional).

So I saw a video on TikTok with a woman talking about “inequality being the blue print and language being the architecture” of said inequality; while analysing a father’s language in condemning his 14yr old daughter from shaking her “ass” for older men on the internet. 

I to a reasonable extent would disagree with the ladies explanation that the father’s use of language should be flipped to absolutely remove responsibility from the young woman “who was just dancing” and should be placed instead on older men (creeps) watching her dance on the internet.

Historically speaking and even till this day, there has been a style of dancing that is a mating call for human beings. So many cultures over the years have thought those dance moves as mediums for a woman to attract men sexually. Now pop culture has made this style of dancing rampant and still does not take away from the purpose for which it was invented.

Let us please not use the feminist argument to abstain from the duties to train both our boys and girls appropriately. Let feminism not became an excuse to being irresponsible parents. A child has various ways they could dance that does not sell sex appeal. A woman has every right to sell sex appeal to her husband appropriately so or inappropriately to which ever man she desires. It does not stop the act from being sexual because it is a woman dancing on social media; of which most men both old and young are more likely to respond to. We must learn to own and take responsibility for our actions as women also.

This is not to say there is any excuse for Rape. The act of rape in itself is a sadistic and evil act and does not require any provocation, only an evil minded and irresponsible person attacking an innocent victim, even if she or he were shaking their ass naked. So I say again! “SAY NO TO RAPE” 

3. Monstrous villains exercising manipulative and destructive behaviours to have an advantage in life: Some women are using feminism as means to express abhorrence for men, and to make life harder for the entire species. Some women unfortunately falsely accuse men of all manner of assault and misconduct, in other to torture a man for disappointing them, at times as a means for blackmail or simply to justify their own irresponsible conducts.

Men are thought to be hard headed and to bottle up those feelings that make them human. They are thought instead to chase money and strength to exert authority over all they believe to be conquerable, including and especially women. True feminism on the contrary teaches equality, which also covers a man’s right, to be emotionally vulnerable and ability to desire care, love and so many other things that society has deprived them of. Radical feminism if not rationalised is slowly drawing women into wanting the same toxic narrative for women. 

The fair division of responsibility as well as provision of equal opportunities for both men and women will causes the right balance in life and society. Trying to change this would further lead to our children being brought up in a dysfunctional society and ending up with several mental health issues, including loathing their own sexuality.

Thanks for walking this journey with me love ASJ

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